ok...my dad got really pissed at me last night..for practically EVERYTHING...and he wants me to change my xanga addy....so here's my new XANGA...ADD ME PPLZ....

www.xanga.com/O_drop_dead_gorgeous_O

go there now..cuz this one i can't do anything on....anymore..:( this is the last entry i will be making on this one....BYE....

life just dosn't get any worse....but hopefully it will be better tomorrow...

i have really realized that i am truly blessed...with many talents and things i can do...over the past year i have been gifted in music....handbells is very special to me..choir is fun being with a huge group and singing..solo singing is one of my strong gifts...my band OneWayOut...;) playing piano..making songs...gosh...thats the only thing i'm good at..and my dad just dosn't understand that.....its hard...anyway..i didn't go to the college thing today..because of some problems...but i guess thats life...so this weekend is thrift shop..how fun...but then friday me, lorz, anna, rikka..and i donno whu else are gonna go to eltoritos:D then to a movie...sin city....then off to lorzes to have a movie night..ace ventura...and some others...hehe...then sat...i donno chill..then on sunday...HOPEFULLY perform at a church...then get on a train as fast as i can and get to karuizawa...to have fun??...lol..yeeeah..no comment...lol...then come back to school on tuesday:Phaha...ok well imma go to bed peashout ppl:D

think of all the times
we crossed the line
never noticing the pain
changing the rules of the game

turn page after page
realize day after day
we're fading in the dark
lost in our own thoughts

so many complications no satisfaction
drained of our own lives
illusions too hard to ignore
fears we cover up in the night
i wanna try to stop all the headaches
scratched and torn there's no regrets...no thought at all
no thought to what we live for...no thought at all

i guess its hard to understand how many lives we can change within one little comment...or one look...its weird..i just watched Ally McBeal..and i actually learned something very helpful to use...

whatever we say to someone...good or bad about them...it impacts them...cuz some  ppl don't have self confidence...and just by saying "that dosn't look good on you" or " wow...ur hot" that makes us feel either good about ourselves or bad about ourselves.....or by saying "your being too loud" or "your 2 shy" its that persons personality..and no one can tell you what to do..how to act...what to say...its just you...gosh...i just wish ppl could understand that...cuz i know a lot of ppl don't...i find some ppl anoying..but i don't ignore them because of that...cuz i don't like them..or i find them obnoxious...i HAVE done that...a couple times in my life..but i try to be nice to the ppl whu just think i'm a total freak....lol...i donno if this makes sence..but it does to me...so yeah...well think about it ppl...

The faith of a mustard seed can move mountains..that is the most important thing i learned during and after stress camp...btw stress camp wuz AWESOME..my group really got together and worked..even tho it wuz raining and cold...we still had group participation..and it wuz great tanx 2...

T SAN(Mr Collins), Noah, Nastasha, John Na, Gho, Ben, Chris, Emi and Fumi. you guys were GREAT

but anyway so i cut my hand up sooo many times..and now my hands look like mummy's hands..lol...but anyway..yesterday when we got back i felt like it had been forever since i've been in a shower! ahhh..it wuz sooo NICE..lol...but then we got to go HOME..which wuz even BETTER!!! lmao...but anyhoo so  then we got to CAJ and it wuz just...CHO NATSUKASHI..like we haven't been there in FOREVER!!lol..haha....anyway so then me rikka and lorz hung out after that....then we went home...and when i got home...i just crawled into my bed..LITERALLY...lol...slept till..9 am..argh....cuz my sis woke me up asking me if i wanted to go see Charlie and the chocolate factory..lol...no i said..cuz i'm buisy today....lol..doing some stuff with ppl....lol..i can't say what i'm doing till after it happens..but yeah...its gonna be cool..but anyway....i think i better go get ready to go..lol....OTSUKARE JUNIORS!